Secret Wishlist from a Salesman to a Customer

Salesmen have all the rules and customers have none. Well at least not on record. Here I pen my secret wish list of an ideal customer I am yet to meet- in the form of a virtual letter. :)

Dear Customer,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to meet up with you. Even as I write this letter to you in anticipation for a favorable outcome; I have a few points to make which could make our transaction easier.

I am a well-oiled selling machine with a smile so charming I should have sold tooth paste instead. Call it your bad luck, I have been taught, trained and hammered with techniques which will ensure your order comes to me. And I have a long mental checklist of what to do and what not to. Hence, as a professional, I too have some expectations from you -as a customer. Why is that I have rules and you have none! If you are the king, well it’s me who has to make you feel so. Anyways to earn the King title I request you behave like one. Win my heart and I will do anything to get you the best deal and service thereafter.

My submissions for you to be a Good Customer are:

1.Please honor the time of appointment- Yours and my time are precious and please don’t feel amused to see me sit outside your cabin reading those outdated magazines.

2. You have a Need and I have the Solution- Please treat me as a solution provider. Your need is well analyzed and my product should do the work. Else be specific on what you need. I am not here to be a Sherlock Holmes.

3. Let me Talk- My sales pitch is different. Listen to what I say.  Let me explain the value proposition. There are numerous products out there in the market. Let me explain the value I can deliver.

4.You have Googled- Google has made everyone intelligent. You have a list of negative remarks on my product. Please note throwing negative remarks will not make me succumb. Please read all those positive reviews too. That should help you understand the product better.

5. You Behave To Be Price Sensitive- How come budgets are cut only when it comes to negotiations. Please share with me your budget; I will pitch in the right product which will not burn your pockets.

6.Veiled Threat to Speak to my Manager- Please don’t use that on me. It will not help. I am empowered to give you the best deal. Talking to managers usually end up in me deciding what is right for you and the company I represent.

7.Aggression is the short cut for a price cut- Well no. Aggression will lead you to incur higher medical bills but no price reduction from me. I will ensure to keep you calm, but if aggression is a tactic, I am out of the game.  Reading point 5 once again will help.

8.Read Points 1-7 once again- Last but not the least, please read the 7 points. You will love following what I have said. You will not only get the right product at the right price but also a friend for life who will go to any extent to support you, at any cost.

Yours Truly, 

The Salesman

Customer Service and Barking Dogs

Barking Dogs Seldom Bite is an idiom we all are so familiar with. I remember having heard an extension to this- "I know, you know, but does the dog know" Well for all the humor, the statement carries, the concept of barking dogs not knowing it won’t bite and customer service has a link. A link so decisive it can create customer loyalty.

A complaining customer barks. And ask any customer service executive, especially associated with aviation and telecommunications, and they would vehemently, agree to this. Purchase of a product or service involves emotions. Marketeers employ various mechanisms to trigger the emotion to purchase their product or service. And the same emotions come to play during a complaint phase.

The biggest threat to big and small organizations today is customer migrating to competition. As per Accenture global customer satisfaction report 2008-Price is not the main reason for customer churn, it is actually due to the overall poor quality of customer service.

So if an organization takes complaints lightly, it is looking down the barrel of a gun. There are numerous facts and figures given online which talks about how existing customers can deliver more than acquiring new, and how retaining existing customers who are acquired with much difficulty is profitable to the organization. Hence customer loyalty and customer complaints are closely linked. As per statistics gathered the facts and figures on customer complaints are as under: (Source http://ianhoughton.com/statistics)

F    1. For every customer complaint there are 26 other unhappy customers who have remained silent
2. 991% of unhappy customers will not willingly do business with you again.

3    3. 70% of complaining customers will do business with you again if you resolve the complaint in their favor

Hence when a customer complains it’s a wakeup call for the organizations. From point number 1 it is important to note that only 1 in 26 customers complain. Hence this one “barking” customer is an asset. This customer is the pointer to know things are not in place as it is supposed to be for an organization and an interesting observation I have made is:

“Customers complain because they want to be associated with that particular service provider. Others simply churn”

There lies the underlying fact. Hence the angry customer however loud he/she be is venting their emotions but unknowingly has the confidence of a resolution from the organization.

Don’t let them down. Treat this customer well, listen, don’t argue and then organizations will see this “barking dog” evolve into a loyal customer. The one’s that bite were those customers who churned out, silently.

Disclaimer: Thoughts and observations shared are strictly personal.